The Slap 'N Tickle
Every settlement of sufficient size and insufficient morals has one. The sign is always the same, or close enough. The smell is always the same: cheap liquor, sweat, and the particular staleness of a room where nobody has opened a window since before the current owner was born. Walk into any Slap 'N Tickle anywhere in the wasteland and you will find a seedy bar full of criminals, fighters, and liars swapping stories that grow wilder with each round. Somebody is always about to start a fight. Somebody just finished one. The floor is sticky with something you do not want to identify.
The original sits on a small, somewhat insignificant island off the east coast, though "original" is generous. Raiders, storms, and plain bad luck have destroyed and rebuilt the place so many times that nothing about it is truly original anymore. The name persists. The reputation persists. The walls are new every few years.
Everyone in the wasteland's criminal circles claims to have a Slap 'N Tickle story. Everyone claims to have visited the original, though almost no one actually knows where it is. The bars have earned a reputation as reliable sources of information and places to find thieves, which is true enough to be useful and vague enough to be safe.
What the regular clientele does not know is that every Slap 'N Tickle contains a Murder Inc contact. The contact watches the room, monitors the chatter, and prevents anyone from stumbling onto organizational secrets by accident. Only Murder Inc members know how to identify this person, and the method of contact is not something discussed outside the organization. The seedier patrons serve a secondary purpose: they are a recruitment pool, a natural source of potential operatives drawn from the kind of people who are already comfortable with the wasteland's uglier trades.
The operational discipline is in what does not happen inside. Murder Inc meetings never take place in any Slap 'N Tickle. Instead, the actual business is conducted at the most ordinary, unremarkable location nearby. A general store. A water station. Somewhere so boring that nobody looks twice. The criminal bar draws attention. The boring place next door is where the real work gets done. It is, when you think about it, the same trick played at a different scale: hide in the last place anyone would bother to search.
The original sits on a small, somewhat insignificant island off the east coast, though "original" is generous. Raiders, storms, and plain bad luck have destroyed and rebuilt the place so many times that nothing about it is truly original anymore. The name persists. The reputation persists. The walls are new every few years.
Everyone in the wasteland's criminal circles claims to have a Slap 'N Tickle story. Everyone claims to have visited the original, though almost no one actually knows where it is. The bars have earned a reputation as reliable sources of information and places to find thieves, which is true enough to be useful and vague enough to be safe.
What the regular clientele does not know is that every Slap 'N Tickle contains a Murder Inc contact. The contact watches the room, monitors the chatter, and prevents anyone from stumbling onto organizational secrets by accident. Only Murder Inc members know how to identify this person, and the method of contact is not something discussed outside the organization. The seedier patrons serve a secondary purpose: they are a recruitment pool, a natural source of potential operatives drawn from the kind of people who are already comfortable with the wasteland's uglier trades.
The operational discipline is in what does not happen inside. Murder Inc meetings never take place in any Slap 'N Tickle. Instead, the actual business is conducted at the most ordinary, unremarkable location nearby. A general store. A water station. Somewhere so boring that nobody looks twice. The criminal bar draws attention. The boring place next door is where the real work gets done. It is, when you think about it, the same trick played at a different scale: hide in the last place anyone would bother to search.
Structure
The Slap 'N Tickle operates as a franchise network spread across seedier settlements throughout the wasteland. Each location houses a Murder Inc contact who monitors the bar and prevents non-members from stumbling onto organizational secrets. Only Murder Inc members know how to identify and reach this contact. The franchise has no centralized management structure; each location maintains the brand's seedy reputation independently.
Murder Inc meetings never take place inside any Slap 'N Tickle. Instead, meetings are held at the most ordinary, unremarkable location in the nearby area. The criminal bar draws attention; the boring place next door is where the real work gets done.
Murder Inc meetings never take place inside any Slap 'N Tickle. Instead, meetings are held at the most ordinary, unremarkable location in the nearby area. The criminal bar draws attention; the boring place next door is where the real work gets done.
Public Agenda
Serve drinks, host criminals, and maintain a legendary reputation as the wasteland's most notorious chain of bars. The Slap 'N Tickle's public face is pure entertainment and vice; its true function as a Murder Inc contact network remains hidden behind the noise.
History
The original Slap 'N Tickle sits on a small island off the east coast of the wasteland. It has been overrun by Raiders, destroyed by storms, and rebuilt so many times that nothing about it is truly original anymore. The name and concept spread from that island to seedier settlements across the wasteland, each new location copying the same format: a notorious criminal bar where everyone has a story and everyone claims to have visited the original.
The franchise became legendary in nefarious circles. Everyone claims to have a Slap 'N Tickle tale, and almost no one actually knows where the original stands. That reputation serves its true purpose: the bars function as fronts for Murder Inc recruitment and contact operations, drawing the kind of clientele already comfortable with the wasteland's criminal trades.
The franchise became legendary in nefarious circles. Everyone claims to have a Slap 'N Tickle tale, and almost no one actually knows where the original stands. That reputation serves its true purpose: the bars function as fronts for Murder Inc recruitment and contact operations, drawing the kind of clientele already comfortable with the wasteland's criminal trades.
A franchise of notorious criminal bars spread across the wasteland, each hiding a Murder Inc contact in plain sight.
